One year on…

In two weeks’ time a year will have passed since Beatrice was stillborn. An entire twelve months. This time last year I was still pregnant and we were blissfully unaware that baby loss could happen to normal, happy people like us. When I look back I think of how quickly this year has seemed to…

Returning to work

I realise it’s been absolutely ages since my last blog post and so much has happened in these last few weeks. As of this week I’ve completed my phased return to work after maternity leave and I’m now full time. So whilst I’ve been telling myself to write a new blog post I’ve just felt…

Family planning

How did you know you wanted a baby? One of the first questions that I used to ask people when they told me they were pregnant and one of the first questions I used to get asked when I was pregnant with Beatrice. It really got me thinking as to how did I know? For…

Baby loss milestones and test results

Just like after the birth of a live baby, when a baby dies there are lots of milestones to be met. You need to register the stillbirth or death of the baby, wait for baby to have post-mortem, plan a funeral service for baby, go to the funeral itself, have further blood tests, wait for…

Deck the Halls

For those who read my blog post “My glass if half-full” you know that a) I love Christmas and b) that I always try to look on the bright side of things. So when it came to 1st December, I had to have the tree up. Only it wasn’t quite as fa la la la…

Giving birth

Part 2 – The birth Leaving the hospital and going home to wait for 48 hours was torture. Knowing that my baby had died and was still inside me, not knowing why it had all happened and the prospect of having to tell everyone made me feel scared, guilty and lonely. It was the longest…

Finding out

How does stillbirth happen? There are lots of stories that you read in magazines and online of women who have lost their unborn child after noticing that they had some spotting or bleeding, or after their babies movements had reduced or stopped, or after they had agonizing pains in their stomachs. With Beatrice though I…

Here we go…

Why now? I originally thought about starting a blog when we (Jamie and I) bought our first home together, as a way to document the updates we were making to our home and garden, and as a means for our family – who are 250 miles away, to have a sneak peek at what we…